7 Things for Parents of Teens Dealing with Addiction

Jenn Alba Coaching

It's Time.

NEW PERSPECTIVES MAKE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE

What are you worried about?

Plenty. I get it.

When youth and children struggle with addiction, parents often struggle too. There are many concerns. Thoughts are both from areas of love and concern, but also primal fears of survival.

Some of your questions could be:

How could this hurt my kid physically and mentally?

How could this affect my kid emotionally, long-term?

Could this struggle limit their future potential?

What will other people think?

Will it help or hurt them more if I am accepting and patient, or strict and strong?

Where do we go for help?

What will this cost to get them healthy?

What if what we do doesn’t work?

What if…

Take a deep breath.

Perspective: This is their life journey, and you are a guide.

Life is about learning. Learning is failing and overcoming. Every difficult thing we go through is meant to help us get stronger. It is also meant to move us to places where we can help others. We go through things in life so we can reach other people that no one else can. When you learn, you get wise. We are all meant to gain bruises and scars. There is beauty and depth here.

Down to the core of it all, you have a basic choice: Give up? Or keep focusing on hope.

What to Do

You cannot control outcomes. Let go of the things you cannot change(1). Hope is focused on what you can do. Make one thing better today in you. Show up a little better today for your kid.

Take care of you, parent. You cannot help your kid very well if you aren’t taking care of yourself.
Be an example. Show them healthy coping mechanisms, stress management techniques, and responsible decision-making. Show your kid how to overcome challenges and lead a fulfilling life without relying on substances or other “external sources.”
Get educated. Learn about addiction, its causes, effects, and available treatment options. Know your stuff.
Create a supportive environment with healthy boundaries. Increase love, support, understanding & communication daily. Boundaries are rules you set for what you want and need. Consequences and what you-the-parent do when clearly communicated rules are not followed. It’s not about “their” behavior. Remember, boundaries are not about enacting punishments and control. Boundaries are a very much a form of love.
Guilt, shame & blame… These will all do nothing for you. They keep you trapped. They are tricks because they steal your motivation. Recognize when they are in your thoughts and words, and stop them. Refuse to give them room. Rewrite your brain (2).
Move out of your place of fear. Fear doesn’t help you. Fear keeps you from thinking clearly(3).
You have support. Yes, join support groups (4). Connect with therapists and other healthcare pros (5). Keep going. Through all the ups and downs.

When you feel overwhelmed, take another deep breath. Focus on here & now. Hold tight to hope. Reclaim it if you let it go in the past. You’ve got this. You are not alone.